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In a long-term relationship, things change. In the beginning, we date. Things are exciting and passionate. Our relationship is based on mutual attraction and excitement. As time goes on, we become friends. Many couples would say that even though they have other close friends, their spouse is their best friend. This friendship is important.
Over the years, it won’t be the passion that gets you through the tough times. It won’t be the romance that helps you when your kids are causing trouble, or you are battling sleepless nights. It’s the friendship. It’s often that friendship that keeps a relationship healthy and helps couples avoid the divorce lawyers. But, maintaining that friendship over the years is tough. Here are some tips to help you.
Spend Time Together Alone
Do you spend quality time alone together? Or, do you put your kids to bed after a hard day at work and a long and relentless dinner time battle to settle on the sofa and look at social media? If it’s the second option, you are not alone. But, spending time alone together, where you give each other your full attention is a great way to always be more than just a married couple going about your life.
Go on dates when you can. Go to the cinema or out for dinner. When you can’t, cook together at home, and leave your phones in another room occasionally.
Try New Things Together
One of the reasons that friendships in marriage stall is that we stop having things in common. The things that we loved and shared when we met aren’t always the things that we are interested in 20 years on.
The best way to avoid this is to keep trying new things together so that you’ve always got something in common and things to talk about. Try new foods, go to new places, watch a new film and have a go at new hobbies.
Spend Time In a Group
Your friends won’t necessarily be your husband's friends, and his might not all be yours. But, to maintain and build a friendship, it’s great if you can put that to one side and spend time in groups of friends, together. It gives you more variation and more in common.
Respect Each Other
Respect is a huge part of any friendship. Over time it’s easy to take your partner for granted, and the respect that you show them can start to dwindle. Show them respect by listening to them, asking their opinion, being polite, saying thank you, and complimenting them. Make them feel valued and appreciated, and they’ll do the same for you.
Focus on Tiny Gestures
Romance is often about massive romantic gestures and surprises. These are great, but you rarely do them for friends. Friendship is about the little gestures. Letting him have a lie in when he’s tired, cooking his favorite meal, picking something up from the shop because you know he likes it. Even folding his clothes when you put them away or remembering to make his coffee the way he likes it, not the way that you do.
Focus on Tiny Gestures
Romance is often about massive romantic gestures and surprises. These are great, but you rarely do them for friends. Friendship is about the little gestures. Letting him have a lie in when he’s tired, cooking his favorite meal, picking something up from the shop because you know he likes it. Even folding his clothes when you put them away or remembering to make his coffee the way he likes it, not the way that you do. These tiny gestures are an excellent way to cement your bond with each other and show that you really do care. When your partner has had a tough week or is going through a challenging time, small gestures that show you care become even more meaningful. So, whether you make his favorite sopa de conchas shell soup or take the kids out so that he can enjoy a peaceful lie-in, there are many small ways to show you care that can make a big difference.
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