I often get asked by friends and now family with my younger sister expecting her first baby in July about how I decided to go back to work after having each one of my children. I wasn't an easy decision, especially when I became a first time mom with my son Amari. At the time, I was the primary bread maker for our little family of three. I had no choice but to work. If I didn't work, we would not have had survived.
Trevor still had six months left of school and only worked part-time at a local grocery store and I had completed my undergraduate degree and was employed at the college full-time. I took off four months of work and I enjoyed every moment of my time at home with my son; however, financially I needed to get back to work because we needed the money.
As a new mom, you are always going to feel anxious when you return to work for the first time. You also feel guilty about it. This is completely normal. I felt it with Amari. I felt it with Talan. And I felt again with Aurora when I went back to work. Thankfully, my husband's work schedule allowed him to be home with the kids during the day. It helped ease some of the stress and anxiety that I felt those first couple of weeks when I returned to work.
Anxiety. It's a bitch but that shit is real. I was anxious my entire pregnancy worrying about each of my babies and making sure that they were healthy. When they were born, I worried about whether or not something bad was going to happen to them in their sleep. I prayed every single night and still to this day pray for their safety and their overall health. I don't think anxiety as a mother ever goes away. When I went back to the office on the first day I was a nervous wreck! How was I going to balance meetings, paperwork, data entry, outings with youth, and most importantly pumping my engorged breasts for a total of three times throughout day and keep the milk cold? Some how I managed, after a about two weeks I had shit figured out and time management became my best friend.
Guilt. Feeling guilty is normal. Don't let guilt keep you done. You are doing the right thing for you and your family. Do my kids know I love them? Am I giving my kids enough attention and time when I am home? Do my kids see me enough during the week? Am I scarring them by not being home?
These are probably only a handful questions that you've asked yourself and yeah, I asked myself these questions throughout the day when I went back to work. Yes, your kids know that you love them. Yes, you are giving your kids enough attention and time when you are home. Yes, you're kids see you enough. And no, you are not scarring them by providing for them. You are showing them what hard work and dedication looks like and are dismantling any misconceptions about gender roles in our society. And did I forget to mention that our children are part of Generation Z, which means they think they're entitled to anything and everything? Showing them what hardwork is never hurt no body. As Mom's, we work our asses off. Own it. You're a rock star and your kids need to see that.
Adult conversations. Like I mentioned earlier, I loved every single moment of being at home with my kids; however, I missed having adult conversations. There is only so much talk you can take when it comes to things like Bob the Builder, ALWAYS dealing with poop (whether its changing stinky diapers or wiping it clean from off the wall when your toddler decides to finger paint with it!), and doing conflict resolution with bickering brothers over their newest toy. I remember being the happiest person alive when I got to have a conversation with one of my colleagues or youth. It was wonderful. I felt isolated at home only having my children and husband to talk too. I craved conversations with adults that had nothing to do with my children.
You're not alone. According to the U.S. Department of Labor, 70.5% of the workforce are working mothers. You are not alone. Don't ever feel like you are alone because you are not. Being a mom is hard. Being a working mom is hard too. I know I constantly second guess myself. Sometimes I feel like I am not doing enough for my children. Sometimes feel a little greedy when I want to further my education by getting my master's degree or moving up in my career. I have always been an ambitious person and worked incredibly hard to change my circumstances.
I have to constantly remind myself that it is not greedy for me to want to make my children's lives easier. I have to remind myself that their lives are WAY different from mine ever was growing up. I never want them to have the life that I had. By showing them what hard work, dedication, and most importantly, education looks like; it only instills values into them that they need as Generation Zer's
As a mom, remember that anxiety and guilt come and go when you decide to return to work but you are never alone.
I enjoy being a working mom. What I love most about it is that I get to provide for my children financially and sometimes they get to spend a working day with me and my mentee's or go to one of our work events. I think its a good for them to see what mom does on a daily basis when they are at home with Dad during the day.
So whether your currently expecting and trying to decide what is best for your family or a SAHM who's thinking about heading back to work after a couple of years, I hope that the information that I provided is helpful to you for making a decision about why I decided to be a working mom and helps ease some of stress you might be feeling. From the beginning it was financial stability but over time it became much more.
Thanks for stopping by the blog. Have a wonderful weekend.
Post a Comment