Beauty-Based Rebellion: Why Doing What You're Told Not To Could Help You Love Yourself Better

There are few people out there who don’t have at least an insecurity or two. In many ways, that’s human nature. We judge ourselves in ways we wouldn’t dream of judging others. When we look at ourselves in the mirror, many of us pour unfair levels of scorn on our bodies. If someone posts a candid shot of us on social media, we pick it apart in a way someone else viewing it never could. In short; we are often our own worst enemies.

Still, given this is an issue many of us face, there are many solutions out there to get over this issue. There are countless articles and self-help guides to help us overcome that judgement and love ourselves as we are. They advise standing in front of the mirror or learning to love our worst features. And, there’s no denying that each of these can be useful for overcoming that self-criticism to some extent. But, the amount of insecurities we still feel suggests methods like these don't work for everyone.

That’s no surprise, of course. When it comes to beauty, there was never going to be a one-size-fits-all solution to our problems. That would be asking a little too much, especially for insecurities of all shapes and sizes. But, just because methods like these haven’t worked for you, doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a life of self-judgement. In reality, there are plenty more methods which could help you love yourself.

Contrary to popular belief, going against the grain of advice here could be the answer you need. While learning to love yourself the natural way is all well and good, it’s not always a practical solution. What’s more, even these natural methods pour some level of judgement on the things we do. If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that more judgement isn’t the thing to help us overcome this problem.

With that in mind, we’re going to look at the ways you can make a few of the things you’re told ‘not’ to do work for your self-confidence.

Wear makeup like a boss

As women become more self-aware, there are mixed messages about makeup. Many women now scorn the idea of having to paint themselves up to head out into the world. That’s a fantastic development. But, some women have started wearing makeup to reinforce their self-confidence. A study by Harvard Medical School found that women wearing makeup reported higher levels of confidence. This is huge news, and it means that ditching the eyeliner might not be the self-love step you’ve been led to believe. No one can deny that wearing makeup to please others is terrible news. But, if you feel like a stronger person while you’re wearing winged eyeliner, don’t let anyone make you feel bad for that. Certainly, don’t think that going without will help you tackle those insecurities once and for all. In the long run, that could well do more damage than good.


Work towards change

A desire for change is also often scorned in the self-love stakes. In fact, many self-help articles on the subject paint a desire for change as a terrible thing. But, is it all that bad? If there were something you didn’t like about your career, for example, wouldn’t everyone tell you to change it? Why is it, then, that we have to accept our appearances without question? If you don’t like that bump in your nose, why shouldn’t you consider getting a nose job? If you don’t like the size of your waist, is it so wrong to set your sights on losing weight? Obviously, this is all in moderation. To some extent, changing the apparent ‘issue’ may not be enough to make you happy with your body. In some instances, you’ll never be satisfied. But, if addressing one issue will make you feel better when you look in the mirror, stop feeling guilty about it. Instead, set your sights on how you could work towards that change. Start saving for surgery, or embark on an exercise routine to reach a goal weight. Just make sure that you stop reaching to change when you achieve those milestones. Then, you won’t have to pretend to love your body anymore; you’ll be able actually to do it.

Use your clothes

Much like with makeup, you could also use your clothes to give yourself confidence. Admittedly, settling into baggy jumpers and jogging bottoms may not be best for your confidence in the long-term. You may find, though, that giving yourself permission to reach that jumper when your stomach is bloated could be a huge help with your confidence. You won’t have to give social occasions a miss just because you aren’t feeling your best. Instead, you’ll be able to head out and rest easy that no one can see the source of your insecurity. That, in turn, could take your mind off the issue, and help you feel better about yourself overall.


Choose your role models

Another thing we’re told never to do is to use others as role models. Comparison, we’re always taught, is the root of all insecurity. And, it’s difficult to deny that logic. Stick thin models in the media are certainly behind a lot of the things we hate about ourselves. But, what if working with a role model in mind could help you feel better? We’re not saying you should print off an airbrushed and unrealistic picture of a model. But, if you look out for real women with bodies the way you would like to look, there’s nothing wrong with using this as a guide. If you wanted to earn more, people would encourage you to envision what your life would look like if you got it. This is the same principle, only it allows you to envision how your body could look if you took care of it. That can be a fantastic motivator, as well as making you feel more comfortable in the body you have now.



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