The body has two responses to a trauma: fight, or flight. It’s instinct, and when you’re the person who has been through – or is currently going through – that trauma, it can be very hard to predict when you will be back to yourself again. It can be hard to handle when your body is going through something that you’ve not dealt with before, but when you’re the caregiver for someone else who has had a trauma, life gets altogether very hard. If you let it, that is.
It is never easy to see a person that you love suffer. Trying to get into their shoes and their mind about what they are going through is virtually impossible, because most of the time their own transition is at the forefront of everything that they are doing in life. You need to be able to help them in their situation, because you know that you will feel like you are actually and active participant in their recovery when you do. It doesn’t matter whether you are currently helping them through an emotional trauma such as divorce, or a physical trauma such as the fallout from a vehicular or motorcycle. You want to be there for them, and that’s great. The key here is going to be knowing what to do and what not to do while you’re offering your support. So, below, you’ll find the things you should do and things you should avoid while caring for someone that you are supporting.
Do:
● Make a freezer stock of meals. When someone is in crisis, cooking a nutritionally balanced meal the last thing that they want to deal with doing. Trying to fit life and cooking around appointments and visits can be impossible, so making them in advance and stocking the freezer could be the very thing that you need the most.
● Offer cash to help. If a friend of yours is dealing with an accident, it’s likely that they’re not going to be working while they wait for a claim to settle and to recover from their motorcycle injuries. The best thing that you can do here is to offer cash to help, even if that’s offering to cover their utilities for a while.
● Listen. When someone is hurting, a good, strong listening ear is often all they need to feel much better again.
Don’t:
● Just turn up. Never just arrive at their home without prior warning and consent. It’s invasive and it’s upsetting to someone in a vulnerable position.
● Pull up cliché phrases and quotes. Someone recovering from an accident doesn’t want to hear about someone who has it worse than they do; their problems and feelings are still valid despite the other evils in the world.
● Be afraid. Just because a person is going through something, it doesn’t make them less of a person. They want you to treat them with the same quality and respect that you always did before.
Of course, these aren’t exhaustive, but if you’ve got these down you’re going to be the best friend that they could have.
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Happy Friday friends! I hope you have had a lovely week so far. Do you have any fun plans for the three day weekend ahead?
I have no idea what we are going to do this weekend. Leave a comment letting me know what you're up to this weekend.
Until next time.
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