Lord, Please Send Me Some More Patience...

I have zero energy these days. I also don't have any patience, which I find bothersome for me. Normally I am a very patient person but over the course of a few weeks I have found my patience button going bye-bye. I find myself snapping at Amari when he doesn't listen to me or do what I ask. It also doesn't help that he has learned a few potty mouth words (no thanks to my older brother who said a bad word when he dropped his Iphone around 4th of July, crappy shows that my husband watches on TV, and crap music on the radio). We tried spankings. It didn't work. We tried hot sauce or "spicy in the mouth" as Amari calls it, it also didn't work. He ended up spitting it out and getting it into one of his eyes on Tuesday night which was pure hell to deal with. Nothing like a screaming toddler crying out in pain while you try to rinse his eyeball out underneath the faucet, then the shower, and lastly the tub. Trevor Dear felt so terrible that he started crying, Amari was crying, and somehow I managed to hold it all together and tend to my sobbing little man even though I felt like everything was falling apart. I felt like a terrible mother then and still do now. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I'm doing the job right. There are nights when I find myself praying to the Lord and begging him for more patience because mine is running thin but I feel like my prayer goes unanswered. I don't know how many times I've prayed for more patience; I desperately need it though. With 12 more weeks tell my expected due date I don't know how I'm going to last in the patience department when it comes to dealing with my own kid. Amari is feisty, independent, outspoken, a brat 75% of the time, impatient, gets into everything, and he has the "I do what I want" mentality; but at the end of the day, he is the sweetest little boy that I have ever met and it melts my heart when he says, "Sorry Mommy," and wants to snuggle after a long stressful day. I have to keep reminding myself about all his good qualities and not the bad ones. I also need to remind myself to take a deep breath and exhale slowly when I find my patience button turning off. As a mother, I need to remind myself that I'll have my good and bad days when it comes to dealing with a toddler. Amari is a toddler and he has a mind of his own. I love my son and I know that he loves me at the end of the day. I just need to learn to not let the little things push my buttons and to consider things from my two and half year olds perspective. I just hope that he can have a little patience when it comes to dealing with his hormonal, mood-swinging mother as I endure the road to finding more patience. Hang in there Amari.

"The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen."
-Ralph Marston 

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."
- Atticus Finch
To Kill A Mockingbird

Wordless Wednesday - A Splishin' and a Splashin'

Wordless Wednesday - Chillin' On A Hill

Weighing Our Options: Birth Decisions

We have a big decision to make. Right now, we are weighing our options. Baby T is due in less than three months and we have no idea what type of delivery we are going to do for him. Earlier today we met with our new OB, Dr. Chang to discuss the two options that we have; another scheduled C-section or a VBAC. I had my heart set on a trying for a vaginal delivery but after talking with Dr. Chang I am not sure anymore. He told us all of the facts that we needed to know about trying for a VBAC as well as the risk factors. He literally scared the crap out of me and told us a story about a woman who was trying for a VBAC last week who had a uterine rupture and the baby's arm went through the rupture hole and was flopping around in her abdomen. He was able to save the baby in time as well as the mother. Hearing that story literally scared me then and leaves me uneasy now... I may have a 1% chance of experiencing a rupture which could lead to blood loss, blood clots, a hysterectomy, or even worse...death. He also informed us that if there was a uterine rupture the baby could be exposed to mental retardation or death as well. I'm not sure a VBAC is even worth it anymore. The thought of something happening to Baby T or to me is something that I do not want to think about. As a mother, I want to keep my unborn son safe and I would do anything and everything to make sure that nothing happens to him. We have three weeks to think about our decision and will inform Dr. Chang when we see him at my 30 week check-up in September. Decisions, decisions... Oh how I love making decisions.

Pregnancy Week 26: Baby #2

It has been a minute since I last updated about my pregnancy with little T. I'm currently 26 weeks and 5 days along and I am ready for summer to be over. I'm over it! The heat is kicking my butt and I can not even begin to phantom how women in third trimester survive in the summer time. It sucks! I applaud you! The past week has been absolutely miserable for me. The temperatures have been rather high, anywhere from 88 degrees to today's high which was 100. =/ Yikes! I can't wait for the weather to cool down. I'm hoping it's any day now. Besides, fall is so much better then the summer in my opinion. Fall is my favorite season. Tomorrow I'll officially have 3 months (93 more days) until Little Bean's arrival on November 17th and I have a feeling that September and October are going to fly bye. Trevor and I are still a little unsure about our birth plan though. The hospital where I will be delivering allows VBAC's and I am currently weighing the pros and cons of having another C-section or going for a VBAC.  Monday we meet with my new OB to talk about our options and what's best for my body and for baby T. If we decide to go with the C-section again hopefully we can schedule it that day so we know for sure what day our second little prince will arrive. I am starting to get antsy and I am ready to meet this little guy that gives me horrible heartburn and keeps me up at night with his dance parties. I have a feeling that he will be a night owl when he does arrive, which makes me cringe a little bit. I am going to miss sleeping. Activity wise he moves a lot but not as much as Amari did. This week did kick off the belly-jiggle movements which kind of freaked Amari out a bit but made him smile. Stinker is so cute, he is excited about being a big brother. Every morning he gives my tummy kisses and says hi to his little brother. One morning a few weeks ago he even tried to give baby T milk from his sippy cup. =]
So far, Little T is 13 to 14 inches tall, weights around 1.5 to 2.5 pounds, and is the size of lettuce. Baby boy is getting big!

Wordless Wednesday - Happy 47th Birthday Poppi Steve! =D

Wordless Wednesday - Beatin' the Heat, Coolin' Off in the Pool

The Oregon Zoo

This weekend has been exceptionally hot. And I mean hot! If you are not from the Pacific Northwest, you're not aware of how mild our summers can be here. Hot to us is anything above 85 degrees; shoot...when it's sixty in the spring we bust out our shorts, tanks, and flip-flops like it's the thing to do. It's just how we roll here. :] This past weekend it was ridiculously hot! I mean ridiculously hot! The temperatures were scorching and being 5 1/2 months pregnant when it is that hot outside with no air conditioning in the house is not fun. It sucks! It really, really, really sucks! We had every fan in the house going, both Trev and Amari hung out in their underwear (sorry if it's too much information), and I kept sticking my head in the freezer and taking ice cold showers to try and keep cool. Fun times at the Durant house, not! Saturday we hung out at the pool. Sunday we went to the lake. And Monday we decided that we were going to the Oregon Zoo! We had a blast even though I have come to realize that I have little patience for people these days, especially rude people who are inconsiderate of others and do not pay attention to the fact that other people are waiting in line to see something or do a photo opt and they cut right in like no one else is pay any attention to them. Really? I held my tongue for the most part, afraid of what my hormonal and moody self might say, but after a while comments have a tendency to slip right out my mouth and I don't care about hurting any ones feelings either. After a while, it gets frustrating watching other kids or sometimes even parents almost knock over your toddler or another little kid because they have to see the lions or the otters right then and there and nothing else matters. Blame the hormones! =/ Besides all that drama, the zoo was fabulous. :] Amari had a blast, we walked for a total of three hours around the park and simply just enjoyed our time together as a family; not to mention that it wasn't too hot outside yet. We ate fries in the cafe and I almost had a heart attack when Trev tapped on the glass to get the attention of a cheetah when we were at the African exhibit. Mr. Cheetah was not happy with him and kept eyeing both Trev and Amari down like they were a piece of meat. The animal activist in me and the mom in me didn't like it too much. The signs clearly state to not TAP ON THE GLASS but my dear husband ignored the signs and felt my wrath, LOL. It was sweet when we reached the giraffe exhibit though. Amari loves giraffe's and we spent most of our time watching them for his benefit. We had a great time at the Oregon Zoo and now I'm trying to figure out when we can take a trip to the coast to go to the aquarium. :]

American Bald Eagles

Stinker in an eagle nest.
A sleepy monkey. Amari thought it would be funny to bug him by tapping on the glass.
Monkey watching with Dad
A little R&R time for Amari.
Spying on the sleeping Hyena.
Look at that sweet cheetah face...
Stop tapping on the glass Trevor!
The animal activist in me did not like it one bit, LOL.
Don't ask... Amari insisted he put his head in the lion statues mouth.
Chillin' with Sarabi and Simba. :P
Amari found his favorite animal. The giraffes!
We seriously spent 10 minutes here. He loves them so much.
Mr. Gator, aka Nemo to Amari.
Stinker is more afraid of fish than a gator... Makes no sense to me.

Kruger Farm Farm Tunes

Thursday night we headed over the Columbia River to Sauvie's Island to meet our family friend's the Larkin's at Kruger Farm for the Farm Tunes event that they have every Thursday night in the summer. We pot-lucked it and enjoyed the jazz/ragtime inspired tunes from the Shanghai Woolies. Amari loved it! He pretty much danced the night away, sucking on sticks of honey, and flirting with Ashley's three gorgeous daughters. It was great to see Ashley and her husband Mike. The last time we saw them was the night of our wedding and I know that Trevor enjoyed himself as well as the music. The farm was packed and thankfully it was a beautiful evening. Amari was most intrigued by the pig in the barn and was most surprised by the chicken's surrounding her. He even got to look at (not pet) the two little piglets and had nothing but smiles on his sweet little face. Like his Great Grandma Dee, he loves animals even if they smell! I lost count over how many times we took him to see the pigs and the chickens but he never seemed to grow tired of visiting them. :] At least he didn't ask to take one home with us. As the evening drew to a close we all waited in line to go on a hay ride and Trevor Dear showed Amari how to pick black berries. It was pretty hilarious watching him run back and forth across the dirt path to pick berries on his own. He is so independent these days. The hay ride was blast and we enjoyed the atmosphere on Kruger Farm as we explored it with our eyes. The farm is absolutely beautiful and anything and everything seemed to excite Amari. Sometimes it amazes me how the simplest of things are brand new experiences for others. I love seeing the world through Amari's eyes and I cannot wait to see how he embraces being a big brother in three and half months. I'm so glad that the Larkin's invited us to join them at Kruger Farm. It was a blast!

 Mmm, fresh honey from a farm. 
 Dancing by himself...
Do not touch the chicken or the egg you lazy oinker! 
 Piggy watching with Dad
Apparently, this chicken belongs to Amari. He called dibs!
 What a follower! He followed the rest of the kids up the bales of hay.

 Going on his very first hay ride. 

Our first hay ride as a family!